Blessing the Children Around Us: The Woman Who Blessed The Child by Witnessing about Him

This is the second blog in the series on women who blessed children around them. This woman mentioned in the Gospel according to Luke.

Anna is an unusual aged woman in the Bible. As a widow she might have faced many years of loneliness in her life. Number of years she lived as a widow was much more than the total number of years she had lived with her husband and with her parents. It is not clear whether she had children. If she had children most probably she would have been living with them. Any how, she decided not to dwell in these sorrows and misfortunes. She turned her from a life of misfortune to the life of a prophetess.

They are waiting for us

Another factor is her decision to take up the journey to live in the temple. She traveled a long way from her tribal territory of Asher to come to Jerusalem. We do not know for how long she had been living in the temple without leaving that place. We read that she was a worshiper, a never ending worshiper of God. She worshiped day and night. She had a life of fasting and prayer. This shows she is a adherent worshiper of Yahweh.

Anna's worship and devotion came to a climax as she saw the child of Joseph and Mary who is the fulfillment of all she believed and practiced. She blessed the child by her words and action. When she came to know in her spirit that Messiah had arrived in the temple, she came to him. She not only she came to him but also gathered all those who were waiting for the Messiah. She spoke about the child. She gave thanks to God for sending the Messiah. Thus she praised God and became a channel to lead others to praise. Knowing all the unusual qualities of this aged widow, I can guess that people noticed and listened to her words about the baby. She became the third woman to believe that Jesus is the messiah next to Mary and Elizabeth. Yet she became the first woman who publicly announced the truth that Jesus is the Messiah. And she did so in the temple.

What a source of blessing she became to Joseph and Mary and also for the child! Many had a questions regarding the father of this child. Neighbours of Mary and Joseph might have had a lot of unanswered questions before he was born and after he was born. Yet Anna brought joy to the life of this family by affirming that this boy is the Messiah. She indeed blessed the baby.

Can you imagine living a life of misfortune as Anna lived? How many of us are willing to lift up our eyes from our sorrow to God to wait upon Him in prayer? How can we turn our misfortunes to be a life of blessing to children who may not be accepted by others? There are many women among us who live in their past sorrow. Unlike many, Anna decided to enjoy her life by being a worshiper who sought the coming of the Messiah. Thus she not only saw the child but also blessed the child.

Jesus took children in his arms and blessed them whom his disciples thought were not worthy to be touched by Jesus. How many of us notice children as they walk through the doors of our churches? Or are we immersed in our own sorrows and joys? Or in our own private spirituality? How many of us recognize the need of affirmation in the life of the children we see? Or are we busy with our own credentials as a prophet or worshiper of God? Take time to bless a child.

Blessing the Children Around Us: Women Who Saved the Lives of Infants

For next couple of blogs I would like to look at a few women who have blessed the lives of children around them. Many of us might haven't heard much about them. They are not in the limelight of many of our sermons. Yet what they did for children were so unique that their names are mentioned in the Bible. This blog is about two women who blessed many children by saving their lives.

Imagine living in a country where the king has decided to eradicate your race. With the help of his advisers he found that you are the key person to accomplish his plan. You were invited to his court. He shared his plan to recruit you to a cruel plan of killing innocent boy infants as soon as they are born, on the birth stool itself even, before the mother sees the baby. Your heart began to beat fast. The king did not expect your consent, once said it is a command.

I can imagine Shiphrah and Puah, (Exodus 1:15-21) the Hebrew midwives walking out of the court discussing what to do. They believed that they have an option which is to disobey the king and let the boys live. The simple reason was that they feared God. Their fearless acts saved the life of many boys who lived to see the deliverance of God during Exodus. These women indeed lived up to their names. Puah means "splendid" and Shiphrah means "brightness" in Hebrew. Together these splendid women brought brightness into the lives of the children and their families in the midst of danger. Thus they became part of God's plan for the nation of Israel.

What did their actions say about them?

They are waiting for you

• When the king decided to kill these innocent boys, these women decided to let them live. 
• When the king's deceleration meant death of the boys, these women's decision was life. 
• When the king decided to bring sorrow to the family, these women decided to be a channel of happiness. 
• When the king expected these women to fear him, they chose to fear the king of kings, their God who is the giver and sustainer of life. 
• The king expected them to be a curse to infant boys, but they decided to be a blessing. 
• When the king wanted them to be part of his scheme to eradicate God's people, they wanted to be part of God's scheme to make the people numerous. 
• These women rejected the kindness of the earthly king and became a vessel who received kindness from the eternal king. He established a family for them. 

Wherever you are, whatever you do, God wants us to be a channel of blessing to children who are destined to die. They may be living in poverty with regards to money, education, love, security, and care. If you look around there are hundreds of girls and boys who suffer injustice from the hands of those who should be protecting them: parents, teachers, family, neighbors, and community. Many see them as nuisance and a burden. But you and me are the ones who are there to change the destiny of these children.
Let us step out of our comfort zone. God only expects our readiness. He will do the rest. Be like these fearless women who blessed many children who were not even their own.


Photo Courtesy: www.affinitymbc.org 

A Habit Worth Investing Your Time

It was in 2001 that I first learned about The Four-R's in reading the Bible. The method grabbed my heart even though I regularly read the Bible. My husband and I decided not only to use this method for our daily devotion but also to teach this to our children. More than the method, our goal was to develop a habit of daily devotion in our children.

Mornings were busy as usual with getting children ready for school and both of us leaving around 7:15 am to the seminary where we teach. However we adapted our routine. Four of us read the Bible at the same time around our dining table along with our morning tea. We would wait for our children to wake up to read the Bible. Our son who was 8 years began with Genesis 1 and our daughter who was 6 years began with Psalm 1. We asked them read a chapter a day and to write a verse from the chapter in their dairy. As they grow older we were able to witness how they respond to God through their devotion. Through the years we enjoyed the fellowship of reading the Bible at the same time. 

Now 12 years have passed. Even though we do not read around the dining table anymore, devotion has become part of our day. Both of our children have read the complete Bible at least once. Hopefully my son, who is now separated by continents, daily reads his Bible. Every morning I see my daughter engaging in this practice. Our children and us together have made reading the Bible and responding to God our family's genetic code.

I got the opportunity to teach the Four-R's to many others. Why do I do this? The simple answer is that I just want to pass onto others a practice that blessed my family. This has helped us to grow in our relationship not only with God but also with each other and others.

Briefly, the Four-R's are as follows:

Ready: Prepare your mind to hear from God. Find a quiet place and time.

Read and Reflect: Read slowly and reflect on what God is talking about you and about him.

Respond: Based on what God has spoken to you, respond appropriately.

Record: Record your response in a book noting the date and the reference.

Recently I am learning to end my devotion by Resting for few minutes in God's love. 

I encourage you to develop the habit of daily devotion. If there are others whom you care for like your siblings, spouse, children, friends, encourage them as well in this practice. The Four-R's does not have any magic in it. The key is to daily set apart a time to read and quieting yourself to listen and respond. In 15 to 30 minutes you may practice six spiritual disciplines: Prayer, reading, silence, listening, meditation, and journaling.

I am often reminded of what Isaiah wrote, “He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed” Isa 50:4. 

Photo courtesy: themasterstable.wordpress.com 

Raising Resilient Children

Recently I came across stories of two children-one from North and other from South India. In the South, the only son of a doctors' family was expected to be a doctor. When his class 12th result was published, he called his mother to let her know that he has failed for one of the subjects. In the North, the scientist father expected his son to be a scientist. The son heard a lot of discouraging words from his father because he got only 83% in Class 12. Both sons chose suicide as their solution.

My Child, You're Safe Here

I have heard stories about parents who avoid talking to their children when they get less than 90% marks. What has gone wrong with such parents? Has our education helped us to really understand our children's talents, gifts, and hopes? Or have we become more ambitious after all? Do we really know what causes pain, grief, shame, or discouragement in children? Or are we busy making them to fit into our unfulfilled dream or to make them like our heroine or hero?

Resilience is the ability to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions. Resilience develops when children perceive success and failure as part of life. Ups and downs have been part of life ever since life began. Even though this also has been repeatedly our story, we, parent,s tend to expect only success for our children. Rather we are to create a space in our homes where they can share their fears and hopes, success, and failures without a thought of rejection. Only then they will trust us with their feelings. The first step towards this is to be transparent and share our sorrows and happiness according to the maturity of children.

Parents think over-protection is the way to develop resilient children. We tend to protect our young ones so much so that there are no possibilities for them to fail. Later, during teenage years when their independence blooms they tend to move away from overprotecting parents. Then when disappointments meet them they may not find those around them good enough to get them out of the pit of sorrow. This is because they won't see such parents as someone in whom they can confide in their feelings. It does not mean that parents should not be involved in their kids' lives. Yet, we can enable them to solve their problems and to make decisions according to their age. This indeed build confidence in their ability to handle life issues.

Besides, when we, parents only glorify success, it communicates to children that they are valuable as long as they earn awards and trophies. This conveys conditional love which in turn creates fear of losing their relationships. This is not to say that they are not expected to excel in their talents. But as we encourage them to excel, let them also know and feel that they are valued just because they are our children. Let them see that home is always a safe place for losers and winners alike. Last but not the least, help them to taste and know that their almighty God will never leave them nor forsake them.

photo credit www.essentialparenting.com

COSMETICS FOR THE INNER SELF

Today our markets are full of cosmetic products for both men and women. Regardless of gender and age, people spend time and effort to look beautiful. Display of beautiful women in advertisements like showpieces convey the wrong message that happiness is guaranteed for beautiful women. As outer beauty is valued, people often identify this with their personality. This association with self-image causes unnecessary problems in many women both young and old.

I suppose concern for beauty was present even among first century women in the churches in certain parts of Asia Minor. Their main be concern was outward beauty and they dealt with it by adorning themselves with braided hair, gold ornaments, and fine clothes (1Pet 3:3). Their concern was on something that is temporal which fades away by age, and other circumstances.

There is nothing wrong with being beautiful. Patriarchs in the Bible had beautiful wives. Job's daughters were beautiful. God has created many beautiful things and even God enjoyed the beauty of his creation. Outward beauty is not a hindrance in being beautiful in our inner self. Sarah is an example of a woman who had both outward and inner beauty.

Yet, when the concern for outer beauty takes priority over inner beauty, many unnecessary problems may arise. The apostle Peter addressed this issue by giving an alternative perspective on beauty. His answer for this problem is the inner beauty, which will not decay by age. This is of great worth in God's sight (1 Pet 3: 4). Gentleness and quiet spirit are the two virtues of our inner self. This was the secret of the inner beauty of holy women of the past. This enabled them to put their hope in God as they did what was right. They were submissive to their husbands. They were not subject to fear. In short this inner beauty enabled them to lead holy lives (1 Pet 3:5-6).

How do we become beautiful inside? The apostle Paul noted that the transforming power of the Spirit works in our inner being (Eph 3:16). I believe that as we allow the Holy Spirit to work in our inner being these qualities and other fruit of the Spirit will develop in us. This is the only cosmetic for inner beauty. However, this work of the Spirit in our inner being will be evident also in our behavior patterns. Others will see it in our relationships, our faith, our trust in God, our dealings, our words, and even in our smile. As women, let us care for our inner self or inner being so that we can present our bodies to God as instruments of righteousness. May our generation rise up and call us “holy women of the past.”

For Every Hour of Every Day

Things that I learned through our marriage which I pass on to you.

To Hold and to Cherish

1. You have received a precious gift from God on your wedding day.

2. You’re married to the right person.
Allowing the thought that it is the wrong person is detrimental to your relationship. You’re married! It is too late. “What God has joined together, let no man separate.” So make the best out of your marriage.

3.Your spouse is not Jesus and not perfect; only Jesus is perfect. Only Jesus can meet your deepest needs as He is the source of your life not any person or things.

4. Remember to strengthen your relationship with God. When it is there, you will have the blessing of having a good relationship with your spouse because God is a God of peace and love.

5. Find time for a “circle of two,” for prayer and Bible reading. Your family is a "miniature church."

6. “Clean hands and a pure heart”- let this be your prayer.

7. Your first year together is only a year of romance. Years of true love are coming. So hang on. If there is no wine left, Jesus can still do miracles. He loves to give to those who ask him. He is always for you and your marriage.

8. Love is a decision, not just feelings. The commitment you make on your wedding day is to your spouse and to God.

9. To honor and love each other in words and deeds is also a decision, a daily decision may be an hourly decision. Seek opportunities to give not just receive.

10. Be determined to strive and work hard for a great marriage. If there is a will there is a way. God will give you the desires of your heart. To have a great marriage, the partners need to be authentic and transparent. So there may be differences in opinion on various issues.

11. “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.” Control your temper and be polite when you argue. 

When you discuss difficult issues, make sure to at least hold each other’s hand. Learn to solve these disagreements constructively to avoid big “blow ups” that devastates the relationships.

12. Forsake the “blame game.” It started in the Garden of Eden. It is not your spouse’s fault.

13. Forget all the hurt from the last argument. Once forgiven, its forgiven. So try to forget or ask God to help you to forget.

14. Say sorry even when you know your spouse has wronged you in the particular incident. You reap the result in great measure.

15. Never compare your spouse with anybody. Comparing is unfair. Your spouse is unique.

16. Do not take your spouse for granted for they have chosen to love you and to make your life brighter each day even by simple acts of kindness. Be thankful. It is also applicable to your family members and your friends.

17. Your spouse is your best friend next to Jesus. See that you value your relationship with your spouse in the midst of the pressures of life.

18. Listen to your mate. Communicate verbally and non-verbally.

19. Encourage each other. Next to God you are your spouse’s best cheer leader.

20. Find time to have fun and laugh. Create opportunities to reminiscence your “good old days.”

21. Let each of your “cup of love” be filled with your spouse’s love. It is a safety measure against temptation. Our efforts to participate in God’s vision will be effective when we are at peace with ourselves.

22. If you know a particular thing is God’s will for your life do not hesitate to accomplish it. It is part of being a mature person. This will only lead to fulfillment in marriage.

23. Difficult times develop pearls and rubies in your marriage. These times help one to “taste and see that the Lord is good.” It also provides fertile ground to grow in love towards each other and to appreciate how others care for us.

24. Taking time to bless your extended family, your church, and those in need is an opportunity to bring a smile in the lives of others.

I wrote the first draft of this piece of writing to give it to my youngest sister when she got married in June 1998. My daughter told told me one day "I do not want daddy to get old any more." I explained to her the joys of getting old. One of the joys of getting old is to see the fruits of our hard work to build great marriage and family.

How to Develop Oneness in Marriage
Is it 50/50 or 100/100?

Developing oneness is worth our effort

While I was pregnant with our first child, my husband took a half-day leave to accompany me to the doctor. As his co-workers knew that he tried his best to be with me during visits to the doctor, one of them counseled him, “Annie can go alone to the clinic, it is 50/50, isn't it? Annie does 50 and you do 50 and then marriage will work out.” But my husband replied, “No, it is 100/100 and this is how it works.”

This happened almost 18 years ago. Our life went through a lot of changes in these years: Another child, returned to India, teaching, pastoring, studying, caring for dying parents, pain and inconveniences that come with a herniated disc, and many other challenges and blessings. But I continue to see that my husband was right; it is 100/100 not 50/50.

Viewing marriage as a 100/100 relationship seems to be an unreasonable math equation. Marriage as a 50/50 partnership makes sense as both spouses put 50% and thus moving towards a 100. One does the cooking and other does the cleaning, one does the washing and the other does the folding. This sounds practical and workable. Those who have been married for sometime know that this is not the way things work in real life.

I believe that marriage is a higher calling. This calling involves God's plan for families to display the nature of God's love for his people—with love Jesus died for us even when we were yet sinners and in his love he continues to sanctify his people to be his own. Such an expectation from two ordinary people may sound unfair. It is not only unfair but also from our experiences we know that it is not that easy. Yet God is giving us a privilege to live towards his greater vision for our life.

Moreover, 100/100 effort is needed to fulfill God's specific purpose for each family. God has a special niche that each family has to carve out. If attaining God's general calling for families is difficult, then think about the goal to attain a special purpose for our families. The path to attain this will bring us unique sorrows and joys one after the other. Yet families that have attained it can testify that at the end will be well.

As God reveals to us the unique purpose of each family, he is inviting each of us to put 100% towards his dream. This demands self-denial and self-affirmation. Self-denial or unselfishness involves putting aside everything from within and without that may hinder God's general and specific vision for the family. This does not mean one is not selfless. Each family is determined to persist to attain the purpose and vision of the family. This is part of self-affirmation.

Imagine you see all the houses in a city or village from a higher altitude. You may see the buildings in the size of something like match box. If each home puts in 100/100 to fulfill God's general and specific purpose, then we can join with Balaam in the Bible and say “How beautiful are your tents....”

The delight in this endeavor is that both spouses are active in doing their 100% in carving out their family's unique niche. In reality, in many families spouses are only willing to put their 50, or only one spouse is determined to give 100, or others have the desire but may not have the needed stamina. In such cases let us hope that they would see the pleasure of 100/100 and persevere to preserve the sanity of marriage and soon would enjoy the oneness that God desires for the husband and his wife.